I wear strange hats and clothes. Always have. No problem, except after I bought a house in the suburbs. Now angry neighbors demand I upgrade my wardrobe. I'm frightening their kids and driving down property values.
They hit me with fresh tomatoes from some lady's garden.
I released the following statement:
"I understand your concerns. But I am an intellectual with too much on his mind to worry about clothes. Did people complain about Einstein's baggy pants and stained shirts? What about actor Nick Nolte, who walks around in pajamas and slippers?
You have given me warnings and offered to shop for me. I appreciate that. But I have to be my own man. Do not banish me from this area. I am asking for amnesty. Don't I get credit for good posture, close shaves, hair combed, no undershirt sticking out? Do I look unclean?
Children can tell whether someone is good. Bring them to me and let them decide. And hold off on those tomatoes. People in Appalachia are starving."
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