Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Spider Angst

Will never got the hang of being a spider. The first time sticky string came out of his butt it scared the hell out of him. Things went downhill from there. He hated the taste of flies, was allergic to dust, and never could create intricate webs that won awards and impressed female spiders. His peers considered him inept. Will spent his days sulking in dark corners of the sock drawer, his sanity hanging by a thread.
One day he met a Praying Mantis whose bad knees prevented it from kneeling. Will didn't realize hoe depressed his friend was until it asked for a silk thread. The next day he found his friend hanging by the kitchen faucet. Sicide.
That image propelled him to take a more positive attitude toward being a spider. Immediately, his webs became stronger and more elegant. Eventually female spiders took notice and his romantic evenings multiplied. He even developed a taste for small gluten free flies.

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