Sunday, March 18, 2018

Holding Together

I was falling apart. Couldn't finish a sentence. Couldn't listen to others. Should I grow a beard or not? Cheese did not help. Baked beans neither. Meditation made me dizzy. Watching porn only a temporary stopgap.
I was diagnosed with splintered personality. Too many thoughts at once. Too much sensation. I was told to focus on one thing, like someone's neck. Wear earplugs, close eyes, slow, deep breaths. Change my socks twice a day.
Mindfulness. That's what saved me. Live in the moment and enjoy every second. Right now there is a tiny stream of mucus leaking from my left nostril. I am fully experiencing this, total focus. Soon I will be able to converse normally, I really believe that.
All I need is a happy place for when things get too intense. Perhaps your spare room?

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