Joe was an unhappy Scoutmaster. His life wasn't going in the right direction, but molding these kids made him feel useful and fulfilled. He told the boys hiking builds character. His assistant, Ernie, kept humming patriotic tunes which drove Joe crazy. This nonsense of girls joining was ridiculous. They couldn't pee in the woods like boys.
Midway through this hike, Joe dropped back to inspire the stragglers as the temperature rose. Let's go guys! You can do this. These three had almost capsized a canoe and could not start a fire if their lives depended on it. Joe kept shouting until they had enough. They pinned him to the ground, took out lighters and set fire to his boots. Ernie came running, tripped over a branch and knocked himself unconscious. Joe pleaded. I'll sign off on any badge you want, he offered.
We want the bow and arrow badge, they said. He nodded vigorously. They freed him and continued hiking at their own pace. Ernie was found three days later, starving and thirsty.
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