Saturday, October 1, 2011

Beauty and the Beast

Annette Benning has made 23 films in 23 years. From that output, she has garnered an amazing 68 nominations and wins in various awards categories. Conclusion: this woman should not be allowed to take any time off ever. We as a society need to work Annette Benning until she drops from exhaustion. Let her hire a nanny. She was put here to make movies, not children.
Which brings me to Ted Danson. I loved him in Cheers. So did everyone. Then he starred in Becker and that had a good run. Before you could blink, he popped up in Curb Your Enthusiasm. Then it was Damages opposite Glen Close. Was this enough to sate his voracious thespian appetite? Guess again. He jumped right into Bored to Death. Now I turn on the TV and who has taken Laurence Fishbourne's place on CSI? The inexhaustible Ted Danson. The only reason he was chosen is they have the exact same chin.
Ted Danson has become an acting monster, swallowing parts in one series after another. Gary Busey cannot get work because of this man. Lee Majors is hawking dental floss on The Tooth Channel because of Danson. Erik Estrada is playing fifth lead in Steven Segal films as a result of the greed blatantly displayed by 'Sam Malone'.
Forget demonstrating against Wall Street; that's a lost cause. What about an anti-Danson flash mob in front of the Emmy building? Danson has 15 Emmy nominations and two wins, 10 Golden Globe nominations and 3 wins, a Screen Actors Guild nomination and no wins. That's 26 nominations and only 5 wins. If you're playing first base for the Dodgers and are 5 for 26, you lose your job. He won an American Comedy Award, which I'm certain was given to him by his family. He is active in ocean conservation and wrote a book about saving our endangered oceans. Huh? Every time you turn on the TV oceans are beating the crap out of us. I say boycott Ted Danson and Save Bob Newhart, who, I'm guessing, doesn't give a crap about deep sea sting rays.

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