If you're going to have a parade, keep the damn thing moving. I'm Italian, but I have to admit the Spanish themed parade the afternoon before Columbus Day far overshadows the actual thing. Every Latino country is represented, including all of South America. Colorful costumes, elaborate dancing, large, fancy floats represent high standards of its parade structure. Loud, varied music predominates. There are no stalled floats or gaps in momentum. It's a marching tsunami.
The Italians approach things differently. Sluggish best describes their pace, with long, unnecessary pauses that expand into full fledged stoppages. The floats are plain, there's usually one overly costumed horse and a bunch of old women exhausted by the time they reach 54th Street.The kids look confused. None of the crowd blows whistles. Even Senator Chuck Schumer struggles to look interested. Hardly anyone's body twirls. Spanish people were born twirling.
The biggest difference is the Italians incorporate about 52 high school bands, kids grimly stomping up Fifth venue trying to play an instrument in ridiculous outfits. Who made the rule that high school bands were culture?
The Italians need to ask the West Indian parade organizers if they can borrow some stilt walkers or scantily clad women. Bagpipes will not help this mess.
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