The problem with Martian safaris is distinguishing between the Martians and their animals. My name is Louis and I run Martian Expeditions LLC. Some of my clients bring back endangered species and it's my regrettable duty to inform them these creatures must be returned. Most demand refunds until they see the fine print on the contract.
Sometimes Martian dust storms wreak havoc on our outings. Sometimes it's crooked, psycho tour guides, and once in a while nausea from the trip itself interferes with enjoyment.
Overall, it's a profitable business, especially since we began booking Earth safaris for Martians. There are strict rules for what the aliens can hunt. The Roseann Barr kidnapping, as well as the wounding of Dr. Phil with one of their advanced stun guns led to boundaries.
Somehow, we convinced the Martians rats and roadkill were a delicacy here. So we get a profit and clean up the environment at the same time.
Their weapons can stun prey for up to two hours, during which the aliens can probe up close every pore of their helpless captives. Some earthlings use this exact approach to dating.
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