Dear Mom and Dad,
I love it here at pirate camp. I know you wanted to make me more masculine so the others wouldn't pick on me at school. There are lots of rough boys here who fascinate me.
I got my ears pierced! I chose these fabulous ruby earrings which matched my violet stretch pants and you know how I adore stretch pants. I'm right this second wearing a flouncy white silk shirt with big shoulders and ruffles and only two buttons so my chest will show. Errol Flynn! Did I mention the gold necklaces we wear with doubloons hanging there?
Sword fighting is so butch I love it. The camp counselors are all gorgeous, with their brown boy scout uniforms. They say I throw my dagger like a girl. Well that smarts.
I used my allowance to pick up these exquisite mid calf suede boots that make my thighs look thinner. I topped off my look with a lovely purple bandana. Hug me to death!
I made three kids walk the plank right into the pool.I practiced shouting AAARRRGGH! for hours. My voice got deep and raspy like Stallone.
Next week we get to tie kids to the mast.Maybe I'll be the one who gets tied up!
This is the bestest time ever ! Awesome sauce!.
Your loving son,
Lawrence
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