A Necessary Lie

Morgan lied to himself every day. He told himself he was the bad boy girls loved to date. He considered himself a hard living adventurer. His sexy beard stubble was actually long peach fuzz. His leather outfits hung loosely in the wrong places. He drove a Volvo.
Morgan worked as an HR person in a Venetian blinds outlet. His real calling was a mercenary, though he'd never fired a weapon.
Around women, he made sure to spit a lot, guzzle beer, rub his crotch and employ a wide, manly stance. Ladies thought it might be more effective if he didn't have a Tweetie Bird plastic icon on his key chain. Morgan knew deep down he was a man of action waiting to burst out.
He drove home, watched Big Bang Theory reruns, careful not to strain his back while pulling off his ten pound motorcycle boots.