God was having an off day when He or She created:
Tapioca- We already had pudding and yogurt. Overkill.
Gelatin-a sad knockoff of Jello, not to be tolerated.
Seltzer-Expensive fizz. At least ginger ale helps pregnant women with nausea. Seltzer sounds like a small German town in the mountains where they manufacture clogging shoes.
Adams Apple-Women don't have one and they function just fine. Why isn't it at least considered an erogenous zone.
Change Machines-You stick in a dollar and get noisy, dirty change. Nothing really changes. You're still a frustrated writer stuck in your 500 page history of tapioca.
Pausing While Speaking-Why did we get this ability? Pauses in the middle of a sentence drive everyone nuts and kill discussion.
Cross Country Races-Kids running through the woods for no apparent reason. Trophies? Please. The Grandkids won't care.
Bridges-If there were no bridges there would be no engineers. Need I say more?
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