Philosophers Cafe

Marcus hesitated in front of The Philosophers Cafe. He wanted be join them so badly. He had grown a beard and let his hair lengthen into a ponytail. He carried an unlit pipe, wore rumpled pants, soft soled shoes, a beige blazer with elbow pads and a t-shirt that read I Think Therefor I Am.
He was as ready as he would ever be. He strode inside, took a seat and introduced himself as a professor of ethics and he made up a school in the mid west. He was visiting relatives here, he lied.
They were discussing Shanehopper's Theory of Encapsulated Experience. Somewhere in there Loomlow's hypothesis of an existing sixth toe entered the discourse.
Marcus sat quietly until there was a break in the debate. Then he cleared his throat and spoke.
"We can only know of the existence of our teeth by the presence of toothpaste and a toothbrush in our medicine cabinet."
Philosophers can be a combustible bunch.
Police found Marcus on the sidewalk covered in bites. His theory failed to stand up.