I opened my underwear drawer and minions came bursting out, scrambling around the house, spewing unintelligible words. I tried to lock myself in the bathroom, but they poured out of the hamper.
When I finally confronted them and got some semblance of communication, I discovered they saw my bald head and big ears and thought I was Dr. Spock. Now they wanted wisdom to enhance their lives.
I thought a moment and came up with this: if you see someone choking in a restaurant, forget the Heimlich Maneuver, just climb into his pockets, as many as you can fit, and rub yourselves vigorously against his body. You can't choke while you are aroused. This is a fact.
The minions stared at me, took it in, and began bouncing all over. Some tried to get into my back pocket, but I fought them off. They love cocktail nuts. Luckily I have two full cans. Who knows what hungry minions are capable of?
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