Marching

I was a lousy shot in the Army Reserves, but a terrific marcher. Marching kept me sane while I was learning to kill and maim. I haven't marched since.
Here are some causes I might march for:
The overuse of parenthesis by some writers.
Uneven sidewalks geared toward making old people fall.
Slow moving tourists.
Ferris whells in general.
Wearing flip flops in Fanuary.
Crockpots and their recipes.
Strangers conversing with you on lines.
People sitting  in cars in public parks.
Too many different types of apples.
Elvis Costello's continuing career.
The lack of legislation limiting public scratching.

I'll tell you who knows how to march.
The North Koreans. Man, can those buggers march up a storm.
College bands can also get it done. If they rebel and spell out an obscenity, we can always blame the Mexicans.