The final award to be given out went to Frank Asconi. He successfully performed the Heimlich Maneuver on Shaquille O'Neal, the 7'2, 350 pound former NBA star. Somehow he got his arms around the giant's waist and yanked repeatedly while Shaq choked.
Finally, the big man coughed up Paul Simon, who he mistook for an entree. Simon was shaken, but unhurt. Mr. Asconi in currently in intensive care, with two cracked ribs and dislocated shoulders. Simon, out of gratitude, sent Frank a signed copy of his new CD, Rymin' Simon Returns.
Shaq visited him in the hospital and leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. Frank sobbed, completely overcome.
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