Cartel

Idea for mini series
A drug cartel has hijacked a shipment of Mentos gum, something thousands have become addicted to. A group of rogue seniors band together to destroy the cartel. Leam Neeson leads them, along with Helen Mirren. Many explosions, much gun fire and high speed chases.
At some point aliens land in a Mentos shaped container. They fall for Mirren and attempt to kidnap her. Makers of Altoids somehow figure in the resolution. Benecio Del Toro leads the cartel. Bubblegum does not figure in anywhere.

Coward Strategy

I haven't chimed in on all this Me Too sexual harassment revelations because frankly I'm a coward. I don't want angry responses no matter what side I take.
I feel I should be respected for my consistent cowardice. I don't go looking for issues to ignore, but when they occur I am at the forefront keeping my mouth shut.
Let others go at it tooth and nail. Who needs the aggravation? Did people jump in and take my side when I was ridiculed for wearing skinny jeans which cut off circulation to my brain, causing me to stream Hangover 3.
No, I will treat all women with respect unless one comes at me with a ball pin hammer. If they resort to punching, take the beat down and wait until her arms get tired. Then walk away.
However, if Oprah runs in 2020 I will put all my influence at her disposal. I'll even join Jenny Craig.

Snow Day

Watch TV weather coverage
Eat breakfast
Stretch
Exercise 
Netflicks
Write poem
Check email
Compose blog post
Listen to music
Think of someone to call
Paint abstract work
More Netflicks
Check for snail mail
Reread previous day's paper
Take nap
Make lunch
Weigh yourself
Still more Netflicks
Heat up dinner
Post witty comment on Facebook
Write another blog post
Consume entire avocado
Listen for snow plows
Do farm animal impressions

Mortality

My niece just had her first child. I remember her sitting on our couch playing with my keys. I had to keep her from sticking them in her mouth. Now she has a husband, a house and a baby.
My nephew is thinking of buying a house with his girlfriend. He and his sister have high end jobs with lots of responsibility. I recall him being too shy to come out from under the bed.
At my niece's wedding four years ago they took a photo of the couple standing behind this old guy wearing glasses. I thought it was her husband's father. It was me.
If I follow the speed limit I can tell those behind me see a geezer hesitant to hit the gas. Yes, I have become quietly invisible as I approach my eighth decade. Know what? It's not all that bad. The b aby's name is Teddy Francis. I wonder if he'll remember me when I'm gone.

My Indian Dentist

My Indian dentist tells me her butt is too big. I ask if she's ever seen Everest. She says no. I ask if Nepal is a separate country from India. She informs me it is, but very close like Mexico to us.
As she drills she asks if I'm okay and I nod. She is in her thirties with a family. Walks very fast. Loves taking x-rays. Two needles pinch me slightly.
I can feel her pushing down with her strong fingers.The way she gently but firmly gives orders and instruction to her assistant is quite erotic. I really need to nap, but she tells me to open my eyes. I do what she says. Her eyes are big and dark and intense.
I am at her mercy. She is a root canal specialist. I assume that is why she doesn't give me a free toothbrush afterwards like my regular dentist. If I discover others got one I will be crushed.
Driving home, numbed up, I contemplate the shape of her butt under the blue smock.

Holiday Family Party

I'm hoping there are no fights or serious arguments. The best way to prevent rancor is keeping serving food and drink. The animosity goes back a long way. I will not choose sides. I just hope I don't become the referee. It helps that there is a big dog bouncing around the living room
I don't know some of the people very well. If they ask what I'm up to, I'll tell them I'm happily retired. That should bore them enough to end the inquiry. I don't like talking about myself. New Year's resolutions are another topic. I'll say I resolve to drink more water. That should bore everyone enough to leave me alone to watch football.
I will be amazed at how youngsters are now teens and young adults and I am possibly the oldest in the group. I will ward off sadness by drinking extra eggnog. On January 2 I will resume my losing battle with keeping up with bills. I got a $50 gift card to Stop & Shop. Now I have to find one. I will use all of it on healthy fruit and veggies and any magazines with Zendaya on the cover.

Musical Chairs

So I went to see The Last Jedi and sat there with a few others at this 1130am showing. The sound on the coming attractions was perfect, but no picture. Then the movie began and still no picture. Then a blank screen. We were told they were working on it. Half hour later, we were moved to another theater witha 3-d showing. I took the glasses with temerity. I heard people get dizzy watching 3-d. Well, I had nothing to fear because that screen went blank. Twenty minutes later we were moved to yet another theater. This time everything worked and we saw this 2 and a half hour opus.
This was senior discount Wednesday and altogether we elderly lost one precious hour of our lives. They should have offered free popcorn and soda.
Mark Hamill can really act. Who knew?