Graduate students received a government grant to study the connection between horse radish and hiccups. They monitored the frequency, power and duration of hiccup seizures after consumption of the substance. Some volunteers were sexually aroused, one trying to mount a researcher. Others flushed excessively, body temperature sky rocketed, blood trickled from ears.
Important insights were collected. The young men and women were ecstatic, their futures secured. Unfortunately, a violent storm hit the research center and blew off the roof. Horse radish was blown across five states leading to a hiccup epidemic involving thousands.
The Discovery Channel is all over this. Parts of the researchers are still being collected.
March 23 has been declared Dead Graduate Students Remembrance Day. Higher education remains a staple of this country's priorities.
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