Sunday, August 3, 2014

Things I'd Like to Be Buried With

Keith Richards--I don't want him outliving me.
All of the voices in Dana Carvey's head to keep me company.
Velcro so I don't bounce around when they bury me.
A transistor radio that only plays Connie Francis.
As much soft fruit as can fit.
A hairpiece that won't slide.
All my hand puppets.
A list of jokes I can tell St. Peter.
Inserts in my shoes to make me look taller.
Fake wax lips.
All my published books that never sold.
Darts and a dart board in case I was misdiagnosed and still live.

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