Pig Complaint

Pig- Can I speak to you a moment?
Farmer-I'm busy.
P-This won't take long.
F-If this is about the mud level, I can't control the weather.
P-Actually I hate mud.
F-Nonsense.
P-Not all pigs like mud.
F-Data suggests otherwise.
P-I'm a Maryland pig. Not from NY state.
F-So?
P-Wewere allowed to roam far and wide.
F-Pigs can't roam.
P-This one can.
F-You need to be penned in. That's how this works.
P-Another thing. The food. I don;t eat dead things or garbage. I do enjoy sushi and garlic pickles.
F-Ridiculous.
P-I'll vomit on the others and they'll revolt.
F-Pigs don't vomit or revolt.
P-How about sirloin?
F-SHHHHH! My cows will hear.You're here for one reason. Ham.
P-I thought I was tutoring your kids.
F-No sarcasm in the pig stye.
P-I'd like a TV room with cable and Netflicks.
F-Yeah. When pigs fly.