You are crazy we told Ricardo. It flies against our identity as a culture. He listened politely, then struck back. We cannot continue like this, he said. Our diet is lacking balance. We must get more protein and carbs and fats or we will become extinct.
We are what we are, Marion protested. All these eons we have flourished and passed our heritage to our children. How do you proposed to do this? Niles asked.
Ricardo spoke clearly and full of confidence. I will personally visit all the ant colonies and assure them we are no longer their enemy.
You are blind with ambition, Niles warned. No, Ricardo replied. I am blessed with ambition. If Donald Trump can bring people together, so can I. I will upend our entire culture.
I didn't know we had a culture, Felix mused.
This is insane, Shelly barked. I, myself, have sucked down over 1200 ants this year and I spent a month fasting.
Ricardo refused to flinch. I will promise them cooperation. Help them build additions to their colonies. Porch decks, a library, a gazebo for their hootenannies.
I did not know ants liked Americana music. Do they square dance?
Shelly, you are too busy sucking them through that flabby snout.
Your snout suffers from shrinkage, Ricardo. Marion interrupted. What will we substitute for ants?
Ricardo sighed. I have done the research. We will substitute guano.
That is bat crap!
There are toppings, many delicious toppings.
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