Stop, Drop and Roll

I spent all weekend practicing stop, drop and roll. There is a rhythm, a momentum one must maintain. Speed is important of course, but you must keep your head while on fire, which can be difficult. Be careful not to roll under furniture, which would block you from continuing to roll. If you panic you may mix up the procedure and drop before you stop or roll and drop at the same time. So you wind up with third degree burns and a pulled muscle, which may prevent you from getting to a phone to call for help, although who would want to help someone stupid enough to set fire to himself.
Just keep practicing and ignore those who say get a life. You know what your priorities are.
This has been a public service message.