A guy whispers he's got a great deal for me. He leads me into an alley and opens a box. Inside are slips of paper, each with a long word. He pats my shoulder. These are words that will boost your vocabulary and impress everyone. You will sound brilliant. Women will want to sleep with you. Believe me, I've used them to get their digits. Choose one.
I hesitated, then took a slip. The word was excoriate. I shivered with excitement, repeated it several times. I was hooked.
I bought the whole box for $40. Got it home and began memorizing each word. I loved how each sounded coming out of my mouth.
It was when I went to the dictionary to look up their meaning that I discovered I had been scammed. None of these words--most of them anyway--actually existed. Meaningless gibberish. I cursed my stupidity.
I needed a plan. Just then I heard my mailbox close. I ran to the door and called to Willie, my mailman. Willie! Wait up. Have I got a deal for you.
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