A Turkish folk dance
Peruvian stew
A tool to rip out plywood
Mexican throw rug
a 4000 calorie concoction from Denny's
An insect that destroys tulips
A Bosnian waffle
The sound of snapping underwear elastic
A giant Russian pretzel
Betty White's last word
A lightning storm in Transylvania
I'm sitting in Dunkin' when a woman walks in and orders one munchkin. The counter girl asks her to repeat that, which she does. The employee assures her she can order three, six, a dozen munchkins, but the woman is stubborn. She leaves with her order and I had every right to follow her outside and make a citizen's arrest. Totally justified. That munchkin was in her stomach by the time she got to her car. Who disrespects American capitalism like that and considers themselves a productive member of society? We need to crack down on this sort of anti-social behavior. Our whole value system is crumbling. I'll bet she's a Socialist.
Why did we all stop skipping? As kids we used to love it, bouncing around with a big smile, arms akimbo, head thrown back, feeling the magic. Up and down sidewalks and parks, endlessly skipping.
Look around. All you see is self-defense outlets. Judo, karate, ti knon do. How many of us are in therapy? We wouldn't need all that if we just kept skipping. Jogging, hopscotch, hopping in place, rollerblading are not skipping. Neither is jumping rope.
I will go to the park and learn to skip again. Then I will traverse that entire area, arms out, head thrown back, feeling the magic. If I get arrested, maybe one of you will bail me out.
And in return, I will teach you how to skip.
I am leaving my doctor's office and see a plate of wrapped chocolates. I am diabetic and steer clear of candy. But I stared perhaps too long at them. Maybe this was a test. A camera was recording my reaction and sending it to my doctor's back office. He doesn't trust me. My breathing quickened while I remembered the taste of this delicacy.
Somehow, I forced myself to leave, gasping in frustration. As soon as I started my car, I reached down and grabbed a chocolate chip cookie from the package on the floor. Give me a break. How much temptation can one endure?
At the gym there's a large container on Tootsie Rolls. People grab handfuls. I pull my hand back and slap it hard. No, I growl. Why do public places put these temptations right out there so weak willed people can crumble and submit? I need to have a word with my doctor next visit. At least place the chocolate near the receptionist.
Kids run around in all direction with no purpose. They bump into things, chase squirrels and geese, are mesmerized by turtles on rocks. They point at you like you're some giant lizard. They sing and hum and talk to themselves.
None of them respond to the word no. They want your complete attention unless it makes more sense to ignore you. They smell funny and make a mess eating ice cream. They cry for no apparent reason. They want to wrestle with you with no breaks to catch your breath.
They hate being hugged by relatives. It must be the chemicals in the air. I was never like this as a kid. I smelled good and mastered ice cream. I never fell down.
Lately, however, I seem to smell funny and eating anything is a challenge. I do lose my balance. I wish more relatives would hug me.
Windows 10 is deserting me. A quick message told me I need to install Windows 11. But I became attached to Windows 10. During the pandemic, isolated, I grew close to this wonderful all-encompassing service.
What happens to Windows 10? Scrape heap? What about its memories? Erased? Is it lost somewhere in the cloud? Does it meet up with previous Windows? Are they all depressed, suicidal?
The cold indifference of Microsoft makes me shiver. What if I don't get along with Windows 11? Something about it turns me off? I have enough stress in my life. Maybe I can still secretly use Windows 10 without anyone knowing. Would you report me?
I sent out all my important tax documents to my accountant. He gets paid by my township because I am a senior. I am taking the standard deduction. Frankly, I'm considered low income. Any payment I get will go right to my checking account. Hoping for that $1400 stimulus this spring. Every dollar counts. In less than a year my car will be paid off. Thankfully, the previous stimulus money is not taxable.
I would love to travel, but must stretch my money out. Used to visit NYC for my culture feed, but the place has become dangerous. No parades or celebrations. Can't take the subway. Parks inhabited by deplorables. I could drive aimlessly, but for what purpose? Life is so limited this past year. Covid has put a severe emotional tax on us all.
When she first appeared I thought she seemed pretty cool. No more.
She killed 25000 jobs from Amazon.
She described looters this summer as seeking food for their kids, when they hit high end electronics and fashion businesses.
She stupidly revealed death threats in a Vanity Fair puff piece.
After throwing a public fit in Congress, accusing another rep of calling her the b word, she refused to apologize to another rep after proclaiming he said he wanted to kill her.
Claimed she was in danger or her life during Capial assault, when she wasn't even in the building.
Demanded only her constituints call her AOC.
Enough. She is a petulant, drama queen, a 31 year old child who spreads friction and tension with her socialist ideas. She will probably quit politics and get her own talk show. Good riddence.
I can't find waffle fries anywhere. Other fries, no problem. You're thinking, stop whining. Third World countries can't conceive of waffle fries. But have you ever tasted them? You would understand. I never used ketchup or any other condiment. Shameless, I shoved them down, only pausing to gulp my Mountain Dew.
If this pandemic has killed off these delights, I will scream bloody murder.
Meanwhile, hot dogs survive. Why? I have not eaten a full blown hot dog in years. On occasion I have chowed down on those little baby dogs. I don't bother with mustard. You just swallow the little ones, no excessive chewing. There is a rumor Chipolata does waffle fries.One just opened near me. Time for a field trip.
I don't know what to expect this Christmas. Should I stay home and avoid family and possible infection? After months of isolation, that would be tough. I sent out all my presents weeks ago. Thanksgiving was a beautiful day and I stayed outside walking. I got a couple of phone calls which I appreciated.
I had a tooth extracted two days ago. Had a nice talk with the oral surgeon while waiting for the Novocane to take effect. When he finished, he said he enjoyed talking to me. That realy felt good.
I envy young people who still have their parents and siblings. I have photos and memories.
I can always watch Netflicks on the big day. I know I'm not alone in my isolation.That doesn't make it easier.
I'm supposed to get a molar extracted in ten days. There's a cavity under my crown. No idea how it got there. I brush every day with Crest Detoxify. I floss, jab ib the pic, wash with anti-cavity liquid. I swish pre-brush stuff that's supposed to loosen plaque. How coulld this happen?
People tell me you don't need your molars. I beg to differ. Why would they be there unless they helped chew? I am afraid I'll sneeze or cough or gag during the procedure. Fifteen years ago I had one extracted using just Novocaine. I got through it.
At some point I'll need dentures. Soak them at night. Feel really old. I want to chew like normal people.
Shoprite's Bowl and Basket ice pops are as delicious as any pricier brands. For $2.99 you can't go wrong. Add in their chips, hard boiled eggs, frozen food, etc. and you get good food at a marked down price.
Along with the food, I purchased one of their speedy baggers for a huge discount. This fellow now accompanies me on all my shopping trips. I save all kinds of time at the self checkout with him scanning and bagging. I can then use that time to create the kind of literature that wins grants.
Sometimes my bagger gets restless in his room, so I got him bongo drums to keep his hands busy.
I'm not a huge Biden supporter, but he has experienced tragedy and moved on. I wish he were about eight years younger. He will bring us back into the Paris Accords and have us reenter WHO. We need unity, calm, trust. His cabinet choices are all important. I am interested to see how much responsibility he gives Harris.
No one administration can solve all our problems. The breakdown of police enforcement, especially in NY, is quite disturbing. As far as Corona, the Times reported it is so widespread, contact tracing is near impossible. There is no magic approach except a successful vaccine.
It will be so appreciative not to have hourly comments on Twitter. I do believe, despite his boorishness, Trump accomplished more in four years than Obama did in eight. Were it not for his poor handling of the pandemic, he might have squeaked by for a second term. I'll be watching the market closely.
I see swelling on the inside gum around a back tooth I had a crown placed. Go to dentist. X-ray taken. Dentist tells me inflamation and bone loss. Cannot treat. Extraction only action. I ask to see previous x-rays. They tell me uunless the patient complains, they do not x-ray the back tooth. This is exactly the tooth that needed a root canal, two crowns and had an abcess treated.
How could they not x-ray this tooth? Because of their negligence It looks like I'm losing a tooth. I can't afford implant or bone graft. I did everything I was supposed to for dental health on a daily basis. Maybe this is why my sugar numbers were higher. Even with coverage, I'm going to have a big co-payment.
It just keeps going on and on, one thing after another.
She sits on the bench in front of CVS. Greets everyone. Easily in her seventies. Angular face. So polite to everyone. I soke to her once. We both were reading books. She said she reads everything but romances. Mentioned a daughter.
I see her there almost every single day. You see, at some point she asks everyone for spare change. Most ignore her. I'm wondering if she gets Social Security, food stamps, welfare, Medicaid. It must be a rent controlled apartment.
I'm sitting on another bench, but I can hear her panhandling. Always says thank you, no matter the response. Then suddenly I realize it's been quiet. I look over and see a small crowd. Walk over there. She is lying unconscious on the ground. Curled up like a child. Did she trip? Faint? EMS comres, followed by police. The volunteer tries to get her to speak. What's your name? she repeats. No response.
I decide to leave. Too sad. I wonder what will become of her. It happens that fast.
I bought a fluffy towel in Target's. After using it when I showered, I felt like a new person. Next morning, I entered the bathroom and found it lying on the floor. There is only one conclusion. My other non-fluffy towels refused to accept it out of jealousy.
I've always treated my towels well. Same with my wash cloths. This treatment was unacceptable. I am master of my domain. I thought about buying a bunch of fluffies, but my budget wouldn't allow it. I have decided to install several of my hand puppets near the hamper next time I use my new towel, just to guard my purchase.
It seems every time I upgrade there are problems. I brought in a new recliner and my old one refuses to recline.I need a furniture whisperer.
Then the season begins. Dropped passes, interceptions, fumbles, sacks, injuries, blown coverage, no blocking, bad tackling, missed field goals, penalties, poor coaching, etc.
Every fall I'm suckered in. Reading the sports pages, I get pumped up by all the positive statements by coaches and players on the Giants and Jets.
I watch highlights of other teams brilliance and shake my head. I spend Sundays walking in the park, watching squirrels. Thank God for college games where I have no favorite.
Maybe I should switch to professional soccer.
I got house plants to keep me company during the pandemic. God, what a mistake. Never heard so much bitching.
I need more light! You haven't watered me in days!
You never talk to me!
I need to be pruned right now! Stop walking around in your underwear!
It;s my condo and I have to deal with this nonsense. Finally, I went out and got two enforcers. Put them right in the middle of those whining oxygen suckers. A giant cactus and a pot of stink weed. That should shut the bastards up.
I'm going back to my sock puppets who adore me.
I fell off a tow truck. Happy? You feel superior? This is actually the second tow truck I've fallen from, possibly a record .How? Very simple. Once the truck stopped so I could get $125 from the ATM to pay the driver, I got out of the passenger side of my car. I couldn't ride in the cab because his trainee daughter was with him.
I walked to the edge of the flatbed, calculated the drop and figured this was a cinch. Money in the bank. I took a step, kept going down, landed wtong, wound up sprawled in the middle of the street, blocking traffic. The driver looked down at me and said, I thought you were man enough. His daughter shook her head in disgust.
I got to my feet as he kept asking if I was okay. He admitted he was worried about a lawsuit. I told him I was a little sore, but fine. I got the money, we dropped off the car at Honda and I declined his offer to drive me home.
Turned out, the problem was a worn out key that no longer connected with the computer. New key--$231. I am beginning to wonder if there really is a beneficent God.
Note to the idiot who sends out emails announcing the library is now open. I park, put fifty cents into the meter, walk inside and all I see is yellow tape blocking off everything. The young guy behind the desk steps out as I stand there befuddled.
What do you want? he asks. I tell him about the email. He informs me one cannot browse, read, bssically only order a book and they'll get it for you. I tell him none of that was indicated in the message. He says he'll look into it.
I am fed up. Five months, every day hot, humid, they sit inside in air conditioning doing nothing, a paid vacation. Shut it down, save electricity. As a taxpayer I am disgusted. Tattoo parlors, casinos, salons are open. Libraries and gyms remain closed. Ridiculous.
