Doggie Bag

When is it proper to bring a doggie bag to a barbecue? Is it ever? Invariably when I attend one of these things there's a truckload of food left. It is possible the host uses that food for a follow up barbecue where their second line friends are invited. Or it may be donated to a food pantry, which is fine. But what if it is just tossed into the fridge for days and weeks until it all runs together into an uneatable collage? All because I didn't have the guts to wield my baggie.
This particular gathering was not well lit and participants were distracted by a possibly feral cat and Macintosh apples falling from their tree, narrowly missing several vanishing species of intellectuals. My problem was how to smuggle in the baggie without anyone seeing. It was summer's end and too warm for a pullover. I could have stuck it down my shorts, but a sweaty baggie is no place for a potato salad concoction Paula Dean would have been proud of.
To make things more frustrating, the host dropped a glass container of chicken and onions right next to the grill. The food seemed perfectly fine as it lay splattered on the concrete, but there were glass fragments one had to consider. I mourned the onions more than the chicken. Despite the loss, there was still lots of grub left. People came much later than the 6pm time listed in the invite and they talked more than ate. In other words, this was a perfect scenario for a moocher. Periodically I glanced at the food table in between educating guests with my opinions on the cultural sludge pit our country has fallen into.
Understand, you simply do not ask the host for a doggie bag. There are standards of behavior in my circle that must be upheld. So, ultimately, I didn't even abscond with a carrot stick. I don't know what happened to all the leftovers. I did eat three small brownies, but only after offering them to others. After all, I got there first and the accepted rule on brownies is one extra for the first guest. You didn't know that? Because, my friends, you don't travel in the right barbecue circles.