Epigrams

If every starving writer came up with one good epigram and marketed it correctly, it would earn enough money to support him and leave him time to do serious work.
I came up with one and I provide it here because I trust you to not steal it. You have too much integrity. Here we go.
"Life is like a twist off cap. Initially, you have to struggle, but once you get past the tough part, you are free to swallow all the sweetness within the bottle."
You really have to read that a few times to appreciate its impact. Of course, there are limitations to its applicability. For instance, mouthwash is not something you can swallow or you'll cough like crazy and your nose will burn. Same with medicines, which are dry pills and need to be taken with water. Peanuts aren't sweet; neither is peanut butter, not the way jelly is. Turpenoid, used to clean paint brushes, is not for consumption. Wheat germ certainly is healthy, but a spoonful is sufficient. Lemon juice is too sweet and prune juice has its own problems. Canola oil and pasta sauce are necassary, but don't qualify as sweet.
All that aside, is my epigram too long to fit on a t-shirt or cap or refrigerator magnet? Why am I asking you? I need to contact an ad person, someone who can spot an idea with potential.
Now I'm going to take a nap. This kind of creativity exhausts me. Wait. I just thought of one. "Naps are God's way of extending your warranty." I like it. Both religious people and lazy people will buy into this.
Two gems in one afternoon. I really do need to lie down.