Many stores are requesting customers either call an 800 number or go online to complete a survey about their treatment when they shopped there, so I've decided, in my quest for self improvement, to offer a survey form about myself to give me a better idea whether you feel I'm worth talking to.
JOE'S CONVERSATION SURVEY
Answer to the best of your ability.
1. Did Joe use big words you couldn't understand?
2. Did he lose focus at any time or doze off?
3. Did he repeat himself?
4. Did his sentences trail off into gibberish?
5.Did he scratch or touch himself inappropriately?
6. Did he attempt to scratch you?
7. Did he listen to your points and nod periodically?
8. Was his appearance presentable? Please be specific.
9. Did he tell lame jokes or endless anecdotes?
10. Did he look around as though he were searching for someone more interesting?
11. Did he use the phrases 'That's a moot point' or 'Suffice to say'?
12. On a scale of 1-5, where 5 indicates conversing with Joe was a pleasurable experience that made you want to go home and touch yourself all over, and where 1 means you went straight to therapy, please indicate how was your overall experience conversing with Joe.
I know your time is valuable, but anyone who fills out my survey is placed into a hopper and the winner gets to spend an entire afternoon with me doing whatever you wish as long as it doesn't involve Velcro.
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