Saturday, November 5, 2011

Adopt

A local library is starting an Adopt A Shelf program, where individuals can pick a shelf or an entire section and come in every two weeks to make sure all the books there are in the right order.
I think this concept can be applied elsewhere to benefit all of us. I've decided to start Adopt A Cold Cut and I've chosen Genoa salami. I will do my utmost to publicize this delicious staple of nutrition, making certain to combat any bad publicity directed at my chosen one. I will promote it at social gatherings, dinner parties, and even barbecues. I will push for more inclusion in school and prison menus. I will conduct sessions on how to correctly slice it. I will do the research necessary to weed out nefarious suppliers of knock off Genoa salami, mostly on 14th Street in the city. It was a tough decision not to go with pepperoni, but I'm only one person.
I would think applying the Adoption concept to power tools would also work. We have power drills, saws, screwdrivers, nut removers, but to my knowledge, there are no power wrenches. There is something remarkably embarrassing in a man not being able to open a jar in front of a women. One twist should do it, but too often guys with weak forearms and wrists struggle mightily to no avail. The power wrench would end this embarrassment. Muffled jackhammers are next in my idea bin.

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