It occurred to me that since I couldn't find my driver's license I couldn't drive. This may be a blessing in disguise. I could use some exercise and it would be a chance to meet the neighbors. I arbitrarily chose a route this balmy November Saturday. I first came to a middle aged woman working in her front garden. I asked what kind of flowers she was planting. She stood up and in a confrontational tone blurted, "Everything in this garden is legal. There are no Third World flowers here, nothing contraband, nothing harmful, no deadly pesticides, and I don't sell them without a license. Any more questions, Columbo?"
I swallowed, shook my head, and quickly resumed my walk, coming upon a man washing his car. Great day for it, I remarked.
He stared at me and growled, "What do you mean by that?"
Nothing, I answered. Just making a casual remark.
"Let me tell you something about casual remarks, fella. WWI was started by a casual remark by that idiot Archduke Ferdinand. Before you could blink, he gets his head shot off and two dozen countries are warring. I am an American, so I keep my car in pristine condition, rain or shine. It's called being a responsible adult."
I nodded uncertainly. This walk was not turning out the way I expected.
Two teens, a boy and girl, approached me. My first impulse was to veer to the side, but then I thought, hey, I'm the one paying taxes here. Why should I cede the right of way?
So I kept walking right up to them, unflinching. Sure enough they parted and let me right through. I was feeling pretty good about things when the cop pulled up and asked for ID. I chuckled and said, "Do I need a permit to walk my neighborhood, officer?"
He didn't smile. Evidently I did. I guess I missed too many council meetings. As he wrote me a ticket, "Harassment While Walking", I seriously considered reporting the flower lady for excessive redistribution of soil. Vigilance works both ways.
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