Here is how it works--I ask you a question, you answer. You ask me a question, I answer. I express an opinion on anything. You return an opinion. I reveal exactly one personal problem. You do the same. No more than one. We commiserate.
Neither of us should be looking around, searching for someone more interesting. Neither should we close our eyes and nap while the other is texting or answering a call.
Move the arms, gesticulate, show excitement. Make believe this is the last vibrant, intelligent conversation you will ever have. Make eye contact and smile at appropriate moments.
I had one friend who increasingly took off on 20 minute monologues about her projects. When I tried to sneak in a sentence about my own work, her eyes glazed over. Complete indifference. She also never paid for the coffee.
I know another woman who won't talk about herself unless you use a crowbar on her lips. You have to practically interrogate her to get any information. She, however, shows absolutely no interest in me. No curiosity, no questions, no eye contact. Am I that dull or is she extremely detached and aloof?
I never have more than two conversations a week with the same person. This way I have plenty to talk about. I don't know how couples can exist more than three weeks without crashing into a wall conversationally. I guess that's when karaoke enters the picture.
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