Wednesday, May 16, 2012

My Mother Never Told Me

To roll up my dirty socks
About menopause
Atomic wedgies
Half naked women named Charlotte
Jock itch
Nocturnal emissions
Ikea obsession
How to slide into normalcy
Not to invest with someone named KiKi
How to vomit with dignity
Stay away from exotic dancers named DeeDee
How to steal third base
What really happens at summer camp
The oldest shovels the most snow
Artichokes need affection
Pets can be moody
Women can be moody
Aunts and Uncles are a good source of cash
Everybody's grandpa smells slightly different
There is a good reason for handle bars


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