Saturday, May 26, 2012

Deep Voices

People with deep voices annoy me. Whatever the topic, the person with the deep voice gets the most support in a discussion. It's all about that authoritative blanket of confidence deep voices engender.
     Having both a deep and raspy voice is ideal. Think Harrison Ford, Sean Connery. Yes, I'm jealous. I've spent hours trying to deepen my instrument, incorporating breathing techniques, posture, and horse steroids, to no avail. When I'm upset I sound like a 10 year old spotting a mouse. No Sam Elliot growl from me.
Which leads to another problem--women with deep voices. Bacall, Colleen Dewhurst, Kathleen Turner, Stockard Channing, Kitty on Gunsmoke, and Jessica Biel, who should be recording Navy Seals recruitment ads. Whiskey-voiced women are arousing.Especially older ones. Being naked in a room with Hepburn, Crawford and Stanwyck barking orders is a frequent fantasy of mine. Bill Clinton, Tom Cruise and John Travolta do not have deep voices, which makes me feel better.
Maybe I'd include Kissinger in that room giving orders--in German.

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