Apple

Women are offering me sex in exchange for my spot on line waiting for the Apple 5.
I thought I couldn't live without my Apple 4. That's over. Finished. I've moved on. I will stand here for hours, but I'm not like the others. I took a 3am shower and shaved. Many of these obsessives look disheveled. and do not smell very good.
I will not converse with them because we have nothing in common. I will read poetry and check my messages. Munch on a scone. I made sure to bring coffee. My mind imagines all the new apps I will have that you will not. I smile, thinking about how light mine will be, how much bigger the screen is. I will make certain everyone I know will be aware of my owning this treasure by posting a photo on Facebook.
Some of these people on line do not look like they deserve an Apple 5. That's a value judgment I know, but after my previous four stints waiting for the other Apple phones, I can tell.
Once I get this phone I have to work on establishing actual friendships so I get more calls and can whip out this gem at gatherings and impress strangers who will then want to be my friend and so the cycle continues.