New Jersey has ordered drivers posing for license photos not to smile. Smiling disrupts the digital identification process designed to prevent identity theft. A good idea, no doubt. Who would smile anyway after waiting several hours on line?
Other situations that should require a smile prohibition:
Leonard Cohen concerts
Ingmar Bergman films
Austrian ballet
Rush Limbaugh wisecracks
Nun card games
Trampoline mishaps
Food that squirms on your plate
East Village poetry events
Garbled train announcements
Spreading ashes
Bad puns by talk show hosts
A mouth full of licorice
Groin boils
Foxhole chatter
Stuck ferris wheels
Fish with diarrhea
Starlets crashing cars into street vendors
Opera in a foreign language
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