Dearest Betty,
This is difficult for me. I am a man of pride and specific tastes. I treated you badly. I criticized your high pitched voice, your constant vamping, your short dresses. I was a fool. I should have appreciated who you were and counted myself lucky.
I've changed my attitude. Why? Two words. Olive Oyl.
The woman is driving me nuts. Binge eating, forced vomiting, body issues, long dresses down to her ankles, a ridiculously skinny neck.
A nightmare. I was a fool to cast you aside, my sensual, dynamic Betty Boop. And now I have lost you forever, lost you to Dondi.
Just drag me over to Beetle Bailey's strip and leave me among the other losers. My life is over.
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