Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Death Bed Confession

I don't have much time left. I want to clear my conscience. I admit it. I embezzled money from the PTA. I took their trust and flushed it away. I used the money to adopt Vietnamese triplets. I am a single parent, respected in the community, but my life was built on lies and deception.
This town could have had new monkey bars for the kids if I hadn't stolen the funds. I have to live with that, although, according to doctors, not much longer.
Of course, there's the additional problem of my kids growing up and running into a series of problems. Grand theft auto, burglary, identity theft, disturbing the peace, drunk and disorderly, driving with a suspended license and cruelty to small animals. At least they didn't set fire to anything.
Now I can die in peace, right after breakfast. Two eggs over easy, home fries, pancakes and sausage. I'll pay. There's still a few bucks left over.

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