Louis was too competitive for our set. Whenever we had a gathering, trouble emanated from him. Spill soda on one of his Monopoly properties, he demands reparation. One time, during karaoke, he attempted to sing all the choral sections performing Handel's Messiah and injured his neck and mouth.
But the worst incident happened during charades. Louis is thin and pasty. He stripped to his underwear, fell to the floor and began crawling and twisting from room to room with such intensity we could see bruises forming, even open scrapes and cuts.
We yelled out guesses. SNAKE! SLINKY! A WOUNDED SOLDIER! BIG WORM!
Finally we exhausted our imagination and after twenty minutes of knocking himself out, practically sobbing, Louis sat on the rug and gasped what he was trying to convey.
"It a single strand of wet, hot linguini trying to escape the plate, trying desperately to avoid its fate and reach freedom."
We returned his agonized expression with one of deep concern.
This is more than a caffeine problem. Perhaps its time for Louis to go on hiatus.
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