Thursday, October 11, 2012

Hanging Hair

How to Handle One Nostril Hair Sticking Out

Ignore it and hope no one sees the damn thing.
Go to your happy place.
Isolate yourself and yank on it.
Try to extend a matching one from the other nostril.
Tell people you are testing a new model tweezers and need another sixteenth of an inch.
Look down, pretend to be meditating.
Let your ear hair get all the attention.
Go on the offensive, point out others defects, like pebbly jowls.
If it tickles, insinuate a certain sensual satisfaction.
Stick cotton in your nostrils, explain you had a sinus operation.

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