Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Apple Crunching

Women love watching me bite into an apple, any apple. I take big, manly bites, my masculine jaw ripping powerfully through the fruit. I have smoldering Antonio Banderas eyes and I glower right through the chewing process. I can see ladies squirming, gasping, touching their arms and shoulders, sweating around me, even strangers.
When I reach the core, some moan.
Sometimes they overpower me, rip off my clothes and drip saliva upon my massive pecs. By passers can only stare in wonder. If it happens in a restuarant all hell breaks loose.
The same occurs when I bite into any piece of fruit, but only celery brings a similar strong reaction. What can I say? Women are different than men.

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