Libraries must change or die. Here are a few suggestions
Librarians wear tight shorts and display cleavage.
Locate an open bar away from the children's section.
Domino competitions.
Tap dancing lessons, preferably not the same time as the domino setup.
Lock kids in a padded room after feeding them lots of sugar and watch their behavior patterns. If cuts and bruises result, end the experiment.
Classes working with quick drying clay for seniors who may not live to see the end result of regular drying clay.
Set up a clinic to check blood pressure and cholesterol. Have lollipops for every volunteer.
At Halloween let patrons dress as their favorite literary character.
Charal groups consisting of local destitute and homeless would cheer everyone.
Only stock books with colorful covers.
Have stand up comics perform in the reference room.
Squeeze in adult puppet shows with material unsuitable for kids.
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