Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Pez Addiction

Maury was addicted to Pez, going through a dozen dispensers a day. His apartment was littered with used dispensers. Perhaps it was caused by a college experiment where researchers made he eat 5000 Good 'N Plenty candies to analyze their effect. Desperate to get off them, he met a shady guy in an alley who sold him his first Pez, with the promise they would wean him off the other stuff.
Maury unfortunately developed a phobia of the various designs on the head of the dispenser, which one pressed to get the candy. Especially the Ronald Reagan one.
Soon he was offering sex for Pez.
Pez smell emanated from his clothes and his dinner parties consisting of Pez appetizer, entree, dessert and soluble Pez juice to wash it down, failed badly. He lost all his friends and social status. Longing for normalcy, he ordered pizza, but, alas, couldn't help but topping it with Pez tablets.
There is no happy ending to this story. He was found behind a Waldbaum's dumpster, empty Pez dispensers under his lifeless body.

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