Brad hated the holidays. He'd drive around in his pick up blasting Wagnerian military marches to drown out carolers, whom he pelted with paintball globs. He torched snowmen and sprayed Japanese graffiti on department store display windows. He tied kids to telephone poles with strong tinsel and left them there.
Brad owned a floor covering store and forced his employees on Christmas Eve to stand outside and push throw rugs and bathroom tile.
There was a reason for all this. When he was 12 his dad ordered eggnog from a catalog and though it looked and tasted like the real thing, soon after his entire family began reciting old speeches by former NYC mayor Abe Beame. Except for him, who refrained, they all wound up in the looney bin.
An investigation revealed egg nog terrorists had tampered with the product. Thus, his anger every Christmas.
Sidewalk Santas ran when they saw Brad coming. Let's just say buckshot was involved/.
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