Why do we abhor conversational pauses? Here we are, two intelligent, educated humans engaged in vibrant discourse. We have covered any number of subjects close to our hearts. We've been here sipping coffee a good thirty minutes.
So now we have this pause and we look around or stare at the table, scratch ourselves. We hope to spot someone we know, invite them over, have them fill this void. Maybe flash vacation photos or family stuff. We can oh and aah and that will kill another ten minutes. If I had a family, that's what I'd do.
All conversations are chess games. Some moves take longer than others. Being quiet is not the same as being boring. But, hey, it should be okay to be dull some of the time, maybe as high as 20% of our day. I've gone through entire days without saying something original or interesting. People still talk to me. Not enthusiastically, I must say, but they don't completely ignore me.
To end the pause, I introduce a new topic--food particles collecting inside my microwave. How does this happen when I cover everything? Great. You've picked up on that topic, which will get us another five minutes. I've already come up with another subject--adult diapers. If that disgusts you, maybe you should think of something. We still have fifteen minutes left to complete a solid hour of fascinating conversation. I shouldn't have to do all the heavy lifting. You have a degree from Seton Hall.
And if I shift in my seat it doesn't mean I'm actually wearing an adult diaper. My butt could be itchy.
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