I am a warlord trying to order a sword by phone. My old sword broke off while puncturing a villager's rib. I cannot pillage without a sword and the model I want is on order. It's been on order for a month and I'm sick of waiting. If there weren't an ocean between our tribe and the headquarters of these idiots, I would attack them mercilessly.
Last year they sent me a machete by mistake. What am I, a butcher? I stab quick and clean with a minimum of fuss.Then they sent me a spear. What are these idiots thinking? They want a more specific address for delivery. I'm in the mountains. Ask anyone where I live. I am known for miles. Any delivery person should be able to find me. This is frustrating. I'm sick of playing cards and charades. I am a vicious warlord who needs to burn, pillage and take prisoners.
I need a sword!
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