Alumni Magazine

I hate my alumni magazine. I never gave them a change of address when I moved 8 years ago, but they found me anyway. Everyone in every issue is accomplishing things at levels I will never reach. Athletes breaking records, researchers making breakthroughs, architects building museums, people traveling on cultural exchanges, working for charities, raising money, designing furniture, holding office, becoming CEO of  trendy companies. Getting books published. I hate it when someone who graduated after me gets their book published. All of these graduates smile into the camera, obviously having built these incredible lives.
If I made something up, how would they check? Suppose I said I once dated Sandra Dee. She's deceased. How could that be contradicted? I had a photo exhibit in Ecuador. No way to check that. I can bench press 250 pounds. I've won senior division tennis tournaments in Florida. My own book has sold in the thousands. I mean, they're way too busy at Rutgers Magazine to check any of this. I'm sure there have been staff cuts. I can hire someone about my age who still has all his hair to pose for an accompanying photo.
On page 64, I'm staring at a woman in a loud red and white flowered dress who received a fellowship from the Andrew W. Mellon Foundation--$263000 to study reproductive issues in Niger in 2008. No wonder she's smiling. I could live on that for years.