Cold
A man's nipples harden
Your eyeballs sting
Lose a glove and you panic
Wind burn without the wind
Your body hates you
You envy fat people
Your coughs struggle to stay inside your mouth
Your car sounds like its humping its own gas pipe
Frost mocks you
Small birds manage one tweet before keeling over
Puffs of breath spell Get me inside!
Your butt crack is lined with ice
Genitals retreat to small intestines
Vaseline simply will not help
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