Hello? Yes, God, it's me returning your call. I was out bowling. You should know that. You're All-Seeing. Let's not quarrel. I'm here now. What? No way. I did not scoop out Holy Water into a cup and use it in my Netti Pot. Don't listen to Father Shaw. He hates my tongue. Every time he slips the Communion wafer in my mouth he flinches. The man has issues.
Okay, you got me on skipping three Rosary beads and maybe shortening a Novena or two. I'm a busy guy working two jobs. Plus we had that hurricane. I need a new mattress among other things. Of course you don't use a mattress or pillows or bath mats. You never sleep. You must have been dozing when you created Wilmington, Delaware.
I'm not being snippy. How do you keep getting my new number? A Divine Mystery? Your usual explanation. Well, explain why my Breath Right nasal strip keeps peeling off at night.
Do me a favor. Put one of the saints on. St. Agnes. Someone I can communicate with.
For once.
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