Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Igloo Horror

The Alaskan pipeline created great wealth and with that came entitlement and soon after, boredom. Someone came up with the idea of creating steel cage death match battles among penguins in isolated igloos away from civilization.
This may sound cruel and inhumane, but all the birds could do really was keep running at each other in quick waddles until one fell over. Boring. Trainers taught them how to head butt and that was better, but still fairly tame. So they were taught to stomp each other once one was down. Frankly, it wasn't until they let female penguins enter the cage that real rage kicked in.
Anouk was a young girl with a genetically enhanced, steroid injected penguin she called Arky the Great. He stood 68 inches high and weighed 172 pounds with a wing span of nine feet. Her hope was to promote it and have a rich person purchase it so she would have the money to leave for California. Many small Alaskans vanished when Arky roamed the countryside. Some bodies were recovered however and CSI teams came up with an an-acronym for these cases--DBP--Death By Penguin.
There are rumors Donald Trump is flying up there to see Arky battle. Money finds more money in this world. .

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