Reasons why I am not fly (cool)
I wear plaid
I drive an 8 year old Accent
I've never smoked hemp
My sneakers only cost $35
I've never worn sharkskin
I can't dance
I never wear vests
I like marching bands
I have lawyer friends
My underwear is loose fitting
I don't own a fedora
I can't saunter
I read Joyce Carol Oates
I tip at Burger King
In profile I look like a pear
My handshake is boring
I have no tattoos or bling
I sometimes don suspenders.
The accordion is my favorite instrument
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