I love my Lycra workout shorts, but I must confess sometimes I wear them under my pants. It's that tight, sensual feeling on my nether regions I can't seem to resist. Walking around the gym, it's hard for me not to stop in front of a full length mirror and admire my quads, hamstrings and glutes.
I have another secret. Sometimes I stick tissue in the crotch to make me feel more secure surrounded by huge guys. And sometimes, in the process of exercising, the tissue pops out. Let's just say I've been warned by the gym manager.
My other secret is I steal coffee cups at people's homes during social events. Stick them right down my pants in between my underwear and the Lycra shorts while I'm in the bathroom. I've accumulated quite an array of cups. I have a trusting face and no one notices.
What can I say? I like living on the edge. Tomorrow I'm having breakfast at Waffle House. I doubt their metal detector will pick up a glass coffee cup.
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