First they yank out all my leaves, then dig into my heart. My artichoke identity is compromised.
He rips off my cover and cracks me in half... granola bar
How can I still refer to myself as a Yankee bean if they try to drown me in soup?
My best friend Ralph was swimming next to me in our bowl when this beast grabs him and swallows him whole. Goldfish have rights too.
I wake up lying on my side, feathers gone, somebody taking a bit of my leg. Where did my head go? I wish we chickens could run faster.
I'm basking in the sunlight, buried in cool earth and then I'm pulled violently and teeth puncture me. Sure I'm going to squirt juice. This is what tomatoes do.
Since when do humans give us hickeys? Yams don't even have necks.
Stop complaining. My owner licks instead of bites. You do not lick potatoes.
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