The Plant Terrorists blew up Lois's cherry tomatoes. They strike in the dead of night and no one knows how to stop them. Their targets are hedges, plants, flowers, trees, bushes, vines, anything growing from the soil.
A suspicion the Concrete Cabal is responsible. This is a rumored secret group of extremists who worship concrete, pushing for a world order centering on unbroken miles of pavement.
These are bad people doing bad things very well. They are responsible for much of the way cities look today. They hate cucumbers with a passion, morning dew makes them vomit, leaves turning color causes them to cover their eyes, grey being their hue of choice. It is postulated this cabal has directly caused the premature death of thousands of Portabello mushrooms.
Politicians linked to this group will no doubt present a bill outlawing greenhouses and hiking trails.
Damn. Another explosion. Mrs. Haliday's roses are history.
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